Sheets to the Wind
by Pessile
Summary: In many aspects of his life, Miles Edgeworth wants privacy and discretion. He does not believe in public displays of affection, and he would never flaunt a relationship. Especially not when he is dating a subordinate. But alcohol has a way of making people open up... leaving Detective Gumshoe in a very awkward position. Response to a prompt from the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme.


"In about fifteen minutes, Richard, I believe it will be socially acceptable to leave." Edgeworth tapped his finger irritably, taking in the garish red and green streamers decorating the room.

"That soon? Aww. I think I'll stay a little longer!" Gumshoe shot him a wide grin. _Of course_, thought Edgeworth bitterly, _he is much more well suited to such... festivities._ He wrinkled his nose at the vivid colors of the detective's special 'Christmas tie'. Ignoring, or perhaps oblivious to Edgeworth's scrutiny, the detective added, "At least have a glass of eggnog before you go, Miles – it's great stuff!"

Edgeworth shot a cold look over to the thick, yellow contents of the punch bowl. "It is not exactly my beverage of choice," he said primly.

"Well, too bad, 'cause I've got you some already."

Rolling his eyes, Edgeworth took the glass from Gumshoe and sipped at the eggnog. "Rather strong. Abhorrently sweet. Far too much rum."

"And chock full of good ol' Christmas cheer, pal!" Gumshoe grinned, lifting his own glass. "May not be Bordeaux, but it hits the spot!"

Edgeworth sniffed. "This is entirely the wrong context for Bordeaux."

"Well, then, have another glass of 'nog!" grinned the detective, taking a generous sip. Edgeworth shot him a glare, and seemed about to respond when a familiar voice interrupted.

"Hello, Edgeworth!"

"Wright. Charmed." Edgeworth pinched the bridge of his nose. "To whom do I owe the pleasure? Surely you have somewhere else to be."

"Well," chirped Maya, "We heard about the party and thought you needed _some_ friends to keep you company!"

Gumshoe frowned, mildly insulted. "Hey, pal, I'm here, you know."

She laughed. "Well, yeah, Detective, but you – "

"You needn't have bothered." Edgeworth cut her off with a wave of his hand. "I don't plan on staying long. This sort of social gathering is... well, it is not the way I prefer to spend an evening."

"Of course not," Phoenix deadpanned. "Heaven forbid."

"I was thinking of leaving now, actually."

Wright sighed dramatically. "I should have figured as much. You're a wet blanket, Edgeworth."

Gumshoe bristled. "Hey, pal, I'll have you know that Mr. Edgeworth– "

"That will not be necessary, detective," Edgeworth said, stiffly. Gumshoe deflated, sheepishly taking another sip of eggnog.

"Um, right." Maya looked around the room. "Well, I'm going to go find some food. Coming, Nick?"

"Sure. See you later, Edgeworth. Detective Gumshoe."

Edgeworth glared after them. "A 'wet blanket'? I can be perfectly jubilant. I simply choose to practice restraint."

"I know."

Brimming with irritation, he turned his glare to the detective. "And I don't need you to defend me! You don't need to tell them about any... exuberance I may have shown around you. In fact, I'd prefer you didn't!"

"Sorry about that, sir."

Edgeworth sighed, exasperated. "You know full well that you don't have to call me 'sir'!"

"Yeah, I know that, but..." the detective gestured helplessly. "It's hard to tell sometimes. What's proper, and all."

"Well, I'm certainly not explaining it now!"

"You going home, then, sir... uh, Miles?"

"I will soon. Just go and find someone to talk to. I need to think about something." He turned away, sullen. Gumshoe hesitated a moment, but soon walked away with a shrug, leaving Edgeworth on his own.

He glanced down at the eggnog he still held. "This is all ridiculous," he muttered darkly. With a slight frown, he downed the whole cup. _Still revolting._ He found himself pouring another glass, though. And another.

* * *

It had been almost an hour since he'd left Edgeworth by himself, but the attorney had made no move leave, much to Gumshoe's bafflement. But he, himself, was having a pretty decent time, and tried not to worry too much about his... _well, not 'boyfriend', and certainly not in public like this. Associate, maybe._

However, it _had_ been a while, and Edgeworth was still standing by the drink table. Perhaps a quick reminder _was_ in order. So Gumshoe walked over, tapping a rather vacant-looking Edgeworth on the shoulder. "Mr. Edgeworth, sir? I thought you'd be gone by now."

He was met with grey eyes, bright against a drink-flushed face. "Richard! This... eggnog has grown on me, I think."

"Right..." Gumshoe frowned, watching as Edgeworth swayed ever so slightly on his feet. "I think you've had about enough of that, pal." He reached out to grab the cup, but Edgeworth dodged his hand with an annoyed cry.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm perfectly fine! I'm... I'm merry!" He giggled slightly.

"How much exactly have you had?"

He was answered with a slight shrug, as Edgeworth glanced across the room. His eyes stopped directly overhead, and his face broke out into an uncharacteristically wide grin. "Look, detective, mistletoe!" He took a step closer.

"Wait a second, pal..." Gumshoe held up his hands to the other man's shoulders. "For one, that's holly, not mistletoe. The berries are all red-like, yeah?"

Edgeworth's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I know that!"

"Then why don't you –"

"I just don't really _care_. I want – I want to kiss now. Let's kiss." He tried to throw his arms around the flustered detective. Unfortunately, though, he was still holding a glass half full of eggnog.

"Hey!" Someone shrieked as their shoes were splattered.

"Sorry! Um, Mr. Edgeworth has had a little too much to drink..." He grabbed the attorney by the hand, and pulled him across the room and out into the hallway.

"Let go of me!" Edgeworth batted at the hand grasping him.

Gumshoe released him, stepping back. "You wanna go home, Miles? You seem a little... uh, drunk."

"I'm hardly incap-capacitated." he said with a slight sniff.

"You just tried to kiss me!"

"I do that from time to time, I'm fairly certain." He tried to give a smug smile, but the effect was ruined when he lost his balance and wobbled precariously.

Gumshoe grabbed his shoulders to stabilize him. "Yeah, but now we're here with all these people, and you were mad at me, remember, and... and I think we should probably get home, alright?"

"I'm not mad at you. And you know what? I don't want to leave. I want to go back." He smiled. "We should dance, because I'm not mad at you. They're playing some miserable music in there, and we should dance!"

"You can barely stand!" Gumshoe cried, exasperated. "And I thought – um, we're trying to keep the whole, uh, us thing quiet, right?"

Edgeworth's face pinched into an impressive glare. "I don't really care. It's hard, and it's tedious."

"It was your idea!" It seemed utterly unfair to Gumshoe – it _was_ hard, it _was_ tedious. But Edgeworth – a sober, collected Edgeworth, anyway – needed the discretion. And he had to respect that, even if Edgeworth was too drunk to care at the moment.

"Was it?" Edgeworth asked airily. "Anyway, I'm going back in and you," he stabbed his finger at the detective's ribs, "are coming, too."

"Only if you promise to – to act a bit more normal, okay? No kissing, or anything like that, right now."

"Yes, yes, yes. Let's go." Edgeworth turned around and walked, none too straight, back toward the party. Gumshoe followed cautiously, making sure he didn't fall over or walk into a wall.

* * *

Back inside, Gumshoe steered Edgeworth toward a couple of empty chairs in the corner. "How about you sit right there, Mr. Edgeworth, and I'll sit right here, and we can relax for a bit, yeah? And then we can leave whenever you want."

"Right, yes." Edgeworth nodded absently. "I would like another drink, Richard."

"I think that's a bad idea, pal."

Edgeworth scowled at him, before turning to glance around the room. "Wright!" He called.

The other attorney looked up from pouring a glass of eggnog. "Hmm?"

"Come over here for a minute," Edgeworth said, articulating his words over-carefully. Phoenix frowned, but stepped up.

"Yes, Edgeworth, what – ? Hey!" He stepped backward as Edgeworth made a clumsy swipe for his drink.

"Sorry, pal, Mr. Edgeworth is a bit... um, drunk." Gumshoe said apologetically, scratching the back of his head.

"Uh, no problem."

"Stay and talk a while, Wright!" Edgeworth gave a smile. "You can have my seat!' He stood up, grasping the arms of the chair as he lost his balance and almost fell back.

"Tempting," Phoenix began skeptically, "But I think you need that chair more than me."

"Nonsense! I'll just sit... here!" He took a few wobbly steps toward Gumshoe, then collapsed into his lap.

Gumshoe gave an uncomfortable laugh, pushing Edgeworth back to his feet. "Whoa, there, pal!"

"Stop being ridiculous, detective, Mr. Wright needs a seat!"

"Um," Gumshoe started, "...then, how about you have mine, sir? Here..." He started to get up, but Edgeworth fell backwards again, knocking him back into the chair.

"No, no, you need a seat, too. This is the only... uh, logical solution!" He smirked, then gestured dramatically to the other chair. "Have a seat, Wright!"

"Uh... okay." Phoenix sat down, clearly trying to fight a smile. "Anything you wanted to talk about, Edgeworth? Or are you just going to start ranting about the Steel Samurai again...?" He paused, clearly expecting a reaction, but Edgeworth was distracted.

"Hmm, Richard, you smell nice..." He wiggled closer, burying his nose in Gumshoe's neck, hands grasping the front of his shirt.

"Uh, um, sir...?" Gumshoe tried to push him away, but Edgeworth moved right back with an irritated grunt.

"Uh... does he usually get like this when he's drunk...?" Phoenix asked.

"No... I mean, maybe... uh, he doesn't get drunk a lot..." Gumshoe trailed off nervously as Edgeworth shifted, reaching his arms around the detective's neck.

"Hnnmmmm... love you..."

Gumshoe forced a laugh. "Love you too, _pal._" His face was hot, he could tell that he was blushing. _Damn. I really should have just taken Miles home._ The worst part, though, was that... it felt really good. It was _nice_ to be snuggled up close, feeling this man holding him, breathing in and out. It was warm and human and wonderful. And it had to stop.

"He seems about ready to pass out..." Phoenix commented skeptically. "How much did he drink, anyway?"

Gumshoe gave an awkward shrug, trying to maneuver Edgeworth into a less cozy position. "Dunno, I wasn't there. How much did you have, Mr. Edgeworth, sir?"

"Less than I would like," he responded sourly, crossing his arms as Gumshoe pushed him slightly further away.

"And clearly more than you should have," Phoenix noted as Edgeworth leaned backwards, lost his balance and almost slipped to the ground. Gumshoe grabbed him before he could fall too far, standing him up.

"Thank you, detective," Edgeworth said sheepishly. He then slumped backwards, again falling into the detective's lap.

"Uh, you sure you don't want the chair, Mr. Edgeworth?" Gumshoe asked nervously, glancing at Phoenix.

"Hmm, no, thank you. I'm fine where I am." Edgeworth smiled happily, snuggling into Gumshoe's chest.

Gumshoe looked around the room, desperate to find some excuse to get up. Phoenix was pink-faced with suppressed laughter, and offered no help... no one from the investigation was around to talk to...

"Uh, sir, do you want another glass of eggnog?"

Edgeworth nodded. "That would be lovely, Richard." He smiled and gave Gumshoe a clumsy kiss on the cheek.

"Um, right. I'll need you to stand up for a minute, sir..."

Edgeworth rolled his eyes. "You really don't need to call me – " He yelped as Gumshoe pushed him to his feet, got up, and set him back down in the empty chair.

"Be right back, Mr. Edgeworth!"

He's very, er, affectionate, isn't he?" Phoenix chuckled.

Gumshoe scratched his head, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. "Um, I guess?"

"You're not really going to get more eggnog, are you?"

"Nah." He winced as Edgeworth's face darkened into a glower. "Sorry, but you've really had enough, I think."

"You said," Edgeworth ground out slowly, "that you would get me a drink."

"Sorry."

He lurched to his feet, grasping the armrests of his chair to keep from falling over. "You – you lied!"

"I wasn't under oath, pal."

"You will _not_ call me pal!" Edgeworth cried, "I.." he paused, eyes widening. "I believe I am going to throw up."

Gumshoe grabbed him, swinging him around to a garbage can just in time. He turned away from the hacking attorney, asking Phoenix, "Could you get some water?"

"Yeah, no problem..." He walked away, shooting Edgeworth a concerned glance.

Gumshoe put a hand on Edgeworth's back, rubbing softly. "Hang in there, Miles. We'll get you home right away, alright?"

By the time Edgeworth was done coughing up, Phoenix had returned. "Here you go, Edgeworth..." He rinsed out his mouth, eyes unfocused. "Uh, Detective Gumshoe? I really think you should take him home, now."

Gumshoe scratched his head. "Yeah, me too. You good to walk, Mr. Edgeworth?"

Edgeworth mumbled something incoherent in reply, and slowly they began to shuffle towards the door.

* * *

Waking up was not a pleasant experience, Edgeworth found. His head seemed to be tight and ill-fitting, and in a flight of fancy, he rather wished he could take it off. He struggled to sit up, immediately regretting it as dots filled his vision and his temples throbbed.

_ A hangover, then_, he thought miserably, remembering a large quantity of eggnog. He slowly, carefully, got to his feet, wanting nothing more than a shower, and, possibly, a drink of water.

His hand knocked against something on his bedside table – a glass. Filled with luke-warm tap water. _How...? Oh._ He looked around the room for other signs of the detective, trying to remember exactly what had transpired the night before. He had been put to bed, there was a glass of water waiting... and there was Gumshoe himself, slumped over in a chair, fast asleep.

Edgeworth's memories were incomplete – he had no recollection of how he had gotten back home... but he had a guess. He picked up the glass, draining it thankfully. A nice, long shower was in order, he decided, and he'd try to piece together his fragmented memories later.

* * *

He had every intention of talking to Gumshoe immediately following his shower, but somehow found himself sliding back into bed. It wasn't until he woke up, some groggy, unknowable number of hours later, that he managed to extract himself from his room.

It didn't take long to find the detective again: he was sitting on the couch, watching television. He turned around, giving Edgeworth a big, goofy grin. "Good morning, sir! How are you feeling?"

His head throbbed with Gumshoe's boisterous tone. "Like rubbish," he snapped. "Please keep your voice down. And don't call me sir, for heaven's sake."

Gumshoe's eyes went wide, and he stammered out a quick "Sorry, Miles."

"No..." Edgeworth sighed, touching his temple. "Don't apologize." He walked over to the nervous detective and sat beside him, keeping his eyes locked on the carpet. "I... I think I owe you my thanks, Richard." He looked up. "My memories of last night are... fragmented. But I remember a certain amount of indiscreet behavior. I thank you for rebuffing it."

Gumshoe nodded. "Not a problem. I know it's important to you, and all." He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Edgeworth let the silence hang in the air for a few moments, trying to decide how – or, indeed, if – he should continue. "I... I would like to tell people, someday. I hope you know. I just don't feel that..." _it is time yet?_ He scoffed at the passive phrasing. "...that _I_ am ready, yet."

"I know." Gumshoe reached over and gave his hand a squeeze.

"It would look... strange, from the outside, with you being my subordinate. But it is not because..." He grasped Gumshoe's hand in return, meeting his eyes. "I don't want you to think that I am ashamed of you. You are a good man and I..." He trailed off, but, looking at the detective, he rather thought that they both understood the words that he'd wished to say.

He found himself in a stiflingly tight embrace and, despite his headache, he felt exceptionally secure and happy as he buried his face in Gumshoe's shoulder.

Finally he pulled away. "I really do need a glass of water."

Gumshoe beamed. "I made you some tea! It's been sitting out for a while... but that just means it's brewed longer, right? So it'll be even better! I'll just put it in the microwave to heat it up..."

Edgeworth opened his mouth to argue, but the detective had already stood up to fetch the tea. Instead he just shook his head, and smiled. "You are too good to me."


End file.
